Reality setting in .......

 Going to give this a try.. effect always dances with cause... not sure how the waltz will pan out.

Cleaning my room for the last time... the starkness of what I see provides little hope for what may be coming around the corner.   I am taking a huge leap of faith by leaving teaching and public education after nearly 15 years to go back to school and start a new career as a nursing student and hopefully one day as a pediatric nurse. ( another topic all together)

After the announcement at the end of the BHS slide show and retiree speeches I walked out into the hallway to see several students in tears or offering congratulations and well wishes.  It was some was surreal.. like I was watching my self react to the reaction that my decision had made... guess I'll need to tell Bob that people actually do care and that I might have actually mattered after all.  Since yesterday's news I met with my second period class.. and it was clear that some care and others did not.. in all honesty I cant see why they would care after all me not being there would not affect them in any way at all.... it was funny to see the attention that I got from students who had not paid any attention to me at all over the course of the year....

But as I sit here having cleaned up for one more final time I am fearful of what I don't know and what I certainly can not control... so quick self realization.. stop fearing.